5 reasons Sexy Beasts is an awful show that we can’t stop watching
According to Netflix, the premise of this show is: “Hoping to say goodbye to superficial dating, real-life singles sport elaborate makeup and prosthetics to put true blind-date chemistry to the test.” If that’s really what this show sets out to achieve, it’s an epic failure. But do we mind? Kind of, but not enough to change the channel.
5. Everyone on the show is attractive.
When I first started this adventure, I tried to have an open mind. I eagerly anticipated people being matched who may not naturally gravitate towards each other based on looks alone. Someone with a shining personality could theoretically sweep a hottie off their feet who would typically be considered ‘out of their league’. But no. After watching a couple of episodes, things become increasingly clear. They’re not going to sneak a contestant whose a ‘5’ on the attractiveness scale but a ‘really nice guy’ in there. Everyone is literally a ‘9’ or ‘10’, it’s smoke show city. It’s like a cookie-cutter influencer vibe where everybody is absolutely interchangeable.
4. The show is superficial AF.
On the second episode, one guy literally said they were going to select their mate based on who had the most attractive butt. So he’s going to ignore the makeup and prosthetics and make his decision based on their backsides, which are not adorned with said makeup and prosthetics. Really found a loophole on ‘saying goodbye to superficial dating’, didn’t he?!
3. Nobody on the show is really that interesting.
There’s a lot of talking about… basically nothing. I didn’t really wrap up an episode thinking ‘wow, I really learned from that person,’ or ‘man, they were really annoying’. Everyone was kind of just… there.
2. The final decision scenes are super awkward.
This might actually be a legit reason to watch the show. When the decisionmaker is down to the final two contestants, they make their choice in front of both the person they are picking as their top choice, plus the runner-up. My favorite so far has been when the statue guy just sits there, looking on as the other two people engage in what may be the world’s longest smoochy hug.
- There’s an elephant in the room.
On this show, it is theoretically possible that there could be an elephant in the room, or at least someone dressed up like one. But let’s get real here — outside of Halloween, there’s not really a situation where I can see someone proactively trying to date a grown man dressed up as a very convincing, awkward beaver. It’s just not done. And then, I’ve noticed this weird theme where people find ways to full-on make out — which requires a certain level of creativity and persistence when people have large fake noses and long, protruding teeth and other weird things dangling from their face. Like, you have to be really committed to go there.
So, should you watch the show? I mean, you’re not missing out if you don’t. But you won’t be harmed by checking out a few episodes, or even binge watching the whole season. If you need some trashy TV to spend your downtime watching, it’s not going to be the best thing you’ve seen this summer, but you might just find it entertaining… in a vapid, shallow, not-achieving-what-it’s-intended-to kind of way.
