The Sobriety Journal: Day 47 — Still getting used to weekends

It’s Friday — thank goodness, many of us say!! I know I’ve mentioned intentionally enjoying the rest of the week, too, but there is something magical about a Friday rolling around when you work Mon to Fri. That said, when you’re newly alcohol-free, it can also be a challenging day. It used to, after all, be a reason to drink a whole lot more.

Something I enjoy doing on weekend evenings is going out for dinner, and that, I also associate with drinking. I also tend to obsess over menus (the food part, primarily) before I even get near the restaurant. I want to make sure I get the best thing possible — I read Yelp and Google and OpenTable reviews, I scour reviews written by professionals, I potentially remove the element of surprise out of all of my restaurant experiences. But I do generally feel confident in my food choices after all this research, so there’s that!!

I didn’t used to really pay much attention to the drink component — I was mainly concerned with checking there were drinks available. It was never great to see a restaurant that served only wine and beer, I thought that was really boring. I am embarrassed to this day about a time I didn’t research a menu and ordered a mezcal and soda at lunch and the server looked at me (with what I perceived to be snooty judgement) and informed me that they were a wine and beer establishment. Fancy, I went with a sparkling wine.

Now, however, those choices are — for me at least — off the menu, so I’ve found that I’m rethinking how I think about restaurants. It turns out that some of the best choices don’t even serve alcohol, and it turns out the NA (non-alcoholic) beverage offerings in a lot of places are pretty fantastic these days. It’s actually been fun hunting down the restaurants with the most interesting collections of mocktails and other NA alternatives — one of them being my personal favorite currently, a good shrub! I thought I’d feel lack gettng something non-boozy but I’ve found I actually enjoy the food more (and I certainly remember it more).

I’ve read that when you stop drinking, you taste your food more. I haven’t necessarily noticed that but I’ve noticed that I’m focused more on the eating part of the meal, not just getting through my drink quickly so I can order another and plan out the inevitable post-dinner bar visit. I actually get excited about the food component, something that was more of a necessity than something I’d focus on at the restaurant. Gosh, I feel a bit sad writing this because it’s true. As I was saying, now I am focused on the food and the food is generally great.

Eating at a restaurant is also way cheaper now! Adding a couple of cocktails here and there, especially in a big city, can really exponentially increase the bill. So I’ve decided to let myself order entrees and sides that I’d normally consider frivolous, because they’re still way cheaper than adding on a ton of booze. It’s been fun being able to order what I actually feel like eating, rather than depriving myself and feeling greedy because I want that and aaaaall of the cocktails.

Truth be told, it is still nice to have a beverage poured into a fun glass — there’s something that’s still enjoyable to me about drinking out of, say, a nice large wine glass. But sparkling water and a slice of lime is quite enjoyable that way. I’ve toyed with ordering something silly like a Shirley Temple one day, just for fun. But there’s this awkwardness still —from what I’ve read from those who have trodden this path before me, I know it will likely leave one day and hopefully soon — where I feel silly ordering certain things or asking for a particular type of glass. I feel a certain guilt still for not ordering something alcoholic that will add more to the bill and therefore to the server’s tip — I know this too shall pass, but I’m working through it for now. Having worked in the food and beverage industry will make you think that way to an extent, I guess — but it doesn’t mean I need to order a boozy drink, or leave an exorbitant tip fo make up for it. I’ll order the food I want, tip generously, and everyone will be okay.

Anyways, it’s another Friday. I don’t actually feel like drinking which is nice. I’m looking forward to enjoying a shrub with my meal where I am going to eat all of the things, which I’m going to be able to taste, enjoy and focus on. I hope you have a wonderful weekend too, wherever you are. I will not drink with you today.